We’ll Never Have Today Again | Group Piece
Concept and Movement Development
The concept of this piece was not what I initially intended when I started thinking about my capstone project junior year. I thought that I wanted this piece to conceptually focus on my autoimmune disease and the journey that I’ve gone on with it during my undergrad. Once the pandemic began and I started processing a lot of my emotions and thoughts during quarantine, I realized that this concept shouldn’t be told – for now at least. It felt selfish to put out there while people were losing their lives on ventilators every day in hospital beds to a much more serious, life-threatening question mark of an illness. I quickly began rethinking my concept in its entirety and refocused on what could be delivered to a wider audience. I found that finding light in moments of darkness could be something that I could reflect upon and others could conceptualize easier – especially given the current world events. My dancers could apply finding light in moments of darkness by embodying the choreography through that message. One of my doctors actually comments on my positive outlook on life every time I see her, and I found it so interesting that she could see that in myself as an outsider even though I never found that to be an accurate observation. To better my concept, I tried to take notes on moments of positivity to find better inspiration. I wanted to make sure that this would be a concept that I could be continually motivated by throughout the choreographic process from January through May.
Now, onto the movement development. Later on, I’ll mention that the music aided in some of the movement development, but it didn’t offer a ton of inspiration to seamlessly choreograph my entire piece from beginning to end. I found it easiest to choreograph over winter break to various pieces of music that weren’t Glass Pieces. I’d record whatever I choreographed and later on manipulate it into set phrases labeled A, B, C, D, and so on. This helped me begin the choreographic process of We’ll Never Have Today Again tremendously. I had some groundwork to give my dancers that I eventually transitioned into formations and manipulated choreography.
I tried to allow the choreography to be a more contemporary ballet-based style so that it was easier for my dancers to learn and also unique, nontraditional movement. I crave unique movement so that whatever I choreograph isn’t something that an audience can feel they’ve already seen. I knew that my dancers had to have a strong technical background as well because a lot of the movement that I provide them with is speedy and balletic - all of the details needed to be sharp and simultaneously graceful. This is also a hefty piece of music that requires creative, thought-provoking movement to match the score well.
I journaled out a lot of the choreography, general ideas as well. I continued to document movement through many various video clips to help connect all of my ideas together. Both journaling and documenting via video have aided in a lot of my movement success for my group piece. While I’ve listened to the soundtrack probably over a thousand times by now, every time I listened, I was able to continue to generate new movement ideas that pushed me closer to completing this six-minute beast of choreography.
Music
I began the process of searching for my capstone group music about a year ago during quarantine. I knew I had to start considering music and sounds that I connected with on a deeper level. It had to be meaningful as it was my senior capstone, I’d been waiting and preparing four years for this grand experience. I knew that I wanted to find a piece of music that didn’t have lyrics or spoken word, as I personally find this to be an overused and far too literal concept at times. I wasn’t sure if I was going to be successful on my venture, but I knew that I wanted to start looking at music that didn’t carry its own theme rather one that an audience could make on their own or interpret from the program notes on the piece. I understood that the best time to begin exploring would be when I had potentially the freest time in my life ever, during the first phase of quarantine. I was recently unemployed, out of regularly scheduled school and rehearsals so in March, my search for the perfect piece of music began.
My discovery of Philip Glass’s, Glass Pieces came rather organically. I was and am still surprised that this piece resonated so well with me so soon. While I had been searching around for a couple of months, I landed upon Glass Pieces earlier on and instantly connected with the compelling score and mighty sounds. Generally, I often find myself listening to ballet scores; they put my mind at ease and offer a great deal of clarity when I’m choreographing. I’ll usually start with a score that I and many others are familiar with, then I’ll research the lesser popular works from the composer and narrow down my searches that way. Recently I was looking at Glass Pieces on my computer screen and laughed as I realized I added it to my ‘Capstone Group’ playlist on Spotify on my birthday - was it meant to be? I remember telling myself that if I wasn’t sick of Glass Pieces by the time August came around (I’d be surprised) that I’d have to keep it on the playlist for a few more months.
It was nearing December and I was still hooked to this aggressively, overpowering and beautiful score. Some friends had agreed with it, others thought I could do better - I don’t know if the notion of finding something better motivated me to use it even more or what. The choreography to Glass Pieces wasn’t created instantly but I enjoyed the process involved in creating. There are so many contrasting sounds and volumes that I’d regularly have to break down the choreography into shorter 10-15 second chunks. When I lost motivation from breaking down the sounds, I dove into more research on Glass Pieces, Philip Glass and his Ensemble, even Jerome Robbins’ Glassworks. I found that in Jerome Robbins’ Glassworks he was inspired by the hustle and bustle of New York; the masses walking on the sidewalks no matter the time of day. On the streets, everyone is always on a mission, always on the go. Glassworks was based off of that eagerness and busyness in the city. I found it quite ironic after watching clips from New York City Ballet and Boston Ballet that the busyness that Robbins was inspired by and later cultivated into a ballet was no longer a relevant idea during a pandemic - during quarantine nonetheless. It was a rather ironic discovery to be made.
Regardless, my inspirations with this piece continued to grow as I did more research on Philip Glass’s Glass Pieces. The time dedicated to research for this piece of music was rather lengthy yet extremely meaningful. It was about six months of creating a relationship by listening to Glass Pieces before I even began the choreographic process. I am pleased with my song choice and the story I’ve created with it after being inspired by all of my research and the score itself.
Rehearsal Process
“Have dancers follow improv prompt; dance like both your feet are glued to the floor OR use Franny set phrase recorded on phone.” We ended up using Franny set phrase recorded on phone a handful of times throughout this piece. This was one of the initial notes created post group rehearsal number one. There are so many constructive notes and positive memories captured in this group piece scattered throughout my journal. The constant feedback from my dancers, Professor Chang, and my own personal processing via journaling helped evolve this group piece tremendously.
The rehearsal process was beautiful from start to finish. I came to each and every rehearsal with an outline of the evening’s schedule and feedback notes prepped as well. We’d sit in a socially distanced circle and chat about the goals. Then we’d usually enter into a Franny style warm up / workout. A lot of cardio and some stretching so that everyone was warm and ready for my rather technical choreography. I’d sometimes also show them some choreography that I was inspired by, video clips of myself creating parts of their group piece in my kitchen, or even pictures of costuming and quotes. I appreciated choosing this group of dancers in particular because while the choreography wasn’t extremely collaborative (besides the Franny set phrase being manipulated into their own improv) they were always giving me their honest opinions to help recenter me – and help me better believe in myself. This was a much more vulnerable process than I had imagined – and I couldn’t ever see the reactions on their faces because of the masks. I wanted to make sure that they were comfortable, that I never gave too much, and that they were enjoying what they had auditioned for and were happy to reenter my rehearsal every week. I felt like I created a welcoming environment but definitely faced my own insecurities of choreographing my own stuff on them. I’m assuming it was because this was such a big project that was going to be filmed at such an intimate capacity – I felt like there was little room for errors most days.
We’ll Never Have Today Again carried a lot of weight for me. It’s my first real baby. Piece of choreography – that is. I felt like I had big shoes to fill after viewing four years of previous capstones from my fellow classmates. Choreography is also something that I aspire to continue to be involved in a lot more post undergrad. While I knew that nothing would be absolutely perfect, I learned very early on in the rehearsal process that I was going to have to constantly be going back to the drawing board to edit choreography, spacing, facings, etc. I could’ve planned three minutes of choreography to go one way and then rehearsal would take a completely different direction focusing on the timing for a separate section of only thirty seconds of choreography. Nevertheless, I persisted with this beast of a piece that I am really proud of. I’m even prouder of my dancers and their willingness to embody my choreography to look and feel exactly how I wanted it to.
Costumes
Ah, costumes. A process that I went back and forth on for about three weeks. Costuming could make or break a piece. It affects the lighting, what the camera sees, the meaning of the piece and more. I felt a huge weight when deciding on costumes for a few reasons. Since this was a film piece, at the time I was toying with the idea of also filming parts of this piece outside. If I did that, I asked myself what costume would look good with street shoes – then I asked myself – do I even have a budget for street shoes? I wasn’t sure if I wanted pants or shorts, a unitard or a two piece. I thought I wanted a type of neutral color but what looked neutral on one dancer didn’t on the others. These all seemed like good constructive thoughts to be had, but I didn’t have any clarity when trying to narrow it all down. I also wanted the dancers to feel comfortable and look good since they were the ones dancing in the piece.
There were just a lot of open-ended questions that really didn’t help aid in the decision process. I will say that I was enthusiastic about the pricing per costume being cheaper than originally listed, since Elise had a discount code. I told myself I didn’t want a maroon costume and ended up choosing on a deep purple, maroon type option since it looked the prettiest out of all the colors offered.
In the end, my dancers looked absolutely beautiful with the lights on film. They were comfortable and not too hot because of the conveniently located mesh inserts. It truly was a good choice that I was anxious over for nothing. I do hope that costume decisions do get slightly easier with future pieces though because this one was tough!
Lighting & Filming & Editing
Lighting and filming were wonderful new experiences for me. I had a wonderful lighting designer, Katie and a wonderful videographer, Colin. Their creativity and talented minds really delivered We’ll Never Have Today Again to another level. I spoke with them about a handful of times each prior to the filming dates so that we were all on the same page with my overarching theme. It really takes a village to make productions like these happen – even during COVID.
I began by speaking with Katie and Colin about my concept. While I did this in person, I also shared a Google Drive folder with them with all of my ideas, costuming, formations, and inspirations. With Katie, I focused more on the colors I imagined at certain parts, the lighting effects, the changes in the piece that required dramatic lighting changes. She then came back to me with a sample of lighting to match cues. We then revised slightly to make the lights a bit warmer and more dramatic in an orangey tone. She made a couple other touch ups from that point forward but appreciated my clear communication with her. She equally felt the creation was rather easy because of that. With Colin, we focused on overall close ups and wide shots. We discussed the spacing of the dancers in relation to the camera as well as where I wanted the camera to see more of the lights versus where I didn’t want it to. We both understood that on day one of filming, it would be more of a trial run for the first few shots just to make sure that we were completely on the same page, but it really didn’t take too long. I also gave Colin some creative freedom since he knows a lot more about videography than me. I wanted his art form knowledge to shine through his use of the lens and it really did. Both Katie and Colin were wonderful to work with and alleviated my stress involved in producing this piece.
Now, while the editing process was familiar to me, it was also different in some ways. I’ve been making small dance videos for fun but never anything to be livestreamed and viewed by many. I learned even more about iMovie all throughout this editing process. Editing is a timeless, thankless task that no one really gets to see but should really appreciate. Editing is the final push to make the piece come fully to life before viewing. I wanted to be careful of not overstimulating the audience while still showcasing my dancer’s talent and technique to the fullest extent. I was hesitant to not use Adobe because that had become the mainstream editing format for a lot of people during COVID. But Adobe was never user friendly enough for me to keep it on my computer so I continually would download it and remove it. I am ultimately happy with the final results and appreciative I got to learn even more through the editing process. I do wish I had an editing assistant though.
Fika | Solo Piece
Concept and Movement Development
This piece was conceptually brought to fruition with a desire to further evaluate and express my love for movement. I had just come off of a solo the previous semester that was a part of a greater narrative, it was a lot to dance since it was so emotionally driven. I either had to make my capstone solo an even more emotional piece or the latter which meant a more lighthearted fun piece.
I really enjoyed creating the movement with my group piece so much so that when it came to my solo rehearsals, I felt slightly lost and unmotivated. It felt like a lot for me to be delivering a full course load while choreographing nonstop for capstone along with other dance classes. I continued on through my funk by trying to find inspiration from other songs in rehearsal. I also decided halfway through my solo rehearsals that I wanted to experiment with the solo being on pointe. I was always coming from ballet class on pointe and wanted to see how it would feel being in pointe shoes instead. I found more balletic inspiration and motivation putting the pointe shoes on. I wanted my solo to be simple yet unique and I felt that the pointe shoes added an additional layer to the lighthearted simplicity of Fika.
Now, according to the title Fika. It is rooted from a Swedish word that means, a moment to slow down and appreciate the good things in life. Once I found that word, I knew that my piece could seamlessly translate into that Swedish meaning.
Music
This song was on my list of future dance songs. I similarly didn’t want to define my piece by lyrics or spoken word and this composition was beautiful and not overly powerful either. Upon the first few listens, it felt very breathy. I could visualize a chest breathing deeply in and out. I imagined myself being in a universe separate from this busy, stressful one and placed myself into a much more calm, serene one.
Now, the most serene place I can usually put myself in is a dance studio, really any kind of dance space. I am the most at peace when I’m dancing. While choreography was difficult at first with this piece, I knew that the music carried a calmness that I really hadn’t worked with in a while. I’m used to always moving and while I was moving a lot in this piece it was breathy and delicate, there were repeated movements that were exaggerated. I found myself searching for more fluid movements and pauses that I had never really searched for before as a result of my music choice. I’m overall really pleased with the result altogether. I’m also happy that I could pull a piece of music that I wasn’t gravitated towards but create a beautiful solo out of a breathy, calm composition.
Rehearsal Process
Being in the studio completely by myself seemed like a dreamy experience for the first few weeks. But, when it came to wanting instant feedback, I couldn’t really pull so much from myself when I was in the space. I questioned every piece of choreography I brought into the space and this made it awfully difficult for me to gain momentum choreographing a solo on myself.
I always set up my camera and was prepared to later find inspiration when looking back at my rehearsal footage. But, it was a very interesting experience to be so one on one with myself. All of my thoughts were out in the open and I began vocalizing them outwardly since I could only really talk to myself and my music playing on the speakers. I improvised, warmed up, listened to pump up songs, and just messed around with movements that I usually wouldn’t have a chance to try in a group setting. It was simultaneously therapeutic and stressful all at once. I believe it was good to experience this as a young adult choreographing. At times, I even tried to trick my brain into thinking I was choreographing for my group piece instead – but that rarely worked either.
Like I mentioned earlier on, I came from a completely different solo experience the prior semester. Every rehearsal ended with me panting for air and bruised everywhere, my hair splayed all over my face, covered in sweat. Then, I made the decision to transition into a much calmer solo that offered a lot less inspiration since I wasn’t following a particularly draining, emotional narrative. Both types of solos are and were valuable, but it was good for me to practice one of my least favorite things – patience. It all worked out in the end, I just needed to slow down and appreciate what was in front of me. Ironic, isn’t it? The solo title was telling me something all along.
Costumes
For my solo, I wanted my costuming to be pulled from the costume shop. I really didn’t want to purchase anything for the solo because I didn’t want something to look brand new - if that makes any sense at all. This solo was becoming more and more reflective of ‘appreciating the good things in life’ and for me that was done while I was dancing. My good thing to appreciate in life was dancing. I similarly wanted my costuming to follow me while I was dancing which meant being in something that either resembled a leotard and tights or was physically a leotard and tights.
I looked through a few different racks and bins before landing on this unique leotard. It was an older style. I could tell because it was extremely thin, and the leotard lines were super high cut – truly my dream leotard though. It was a burnt rust color, I paired it with a pair of black tights and felt super comfortable. It was typical training wear, but I had a feeling it would look good. More importantly, I knew that it would make me feel good while dancing. I don’t know why but I feel that I exude an extra confidence when I’m in a leotard and tights. I feel like I can conquer anything in my ballet gear. The costume made even more sense when it was paired with pointe shoes.
Apparel wise, it was pretty easy to transition from rehearsals in the studio to the stage. While this costume was simple, it was simply wonderful – not distracting from my movement and beautiful all at the same time.
Lighting & Filming & Editing
The lighting experience for this piece was similar to my group piece. Katie and I collaborated very well on it. I’d send her clips of my rehearsals along with voiceovers time stamping what lighting I wanted where and she’d fully deliver. She relayed that she loved listening to my voiceovers because they were calming, and I laughed because I was usually so exhausted and stressed out recording them to send to her. For instance, one of the lighting notes I had mentioned to her was in regard to the side trees – I wanted them to ‘flicker’ with the flickers in the music and she fully delivered on my wish. It was a very fun process having her work with me in the capacity of the group and the solo piece. Two slightly different moods that she was able to lay beautiful lighting on. I gave her some more artistic freedom on the solo since there were less specific music cues and I was really happy with the results.
The filming process was equally happy and memorable. Kourtney filmed Fika, and she really delivered on everything I requested. I told her that I wanted to work with the mirror and the double image that comes from that (without obviously getting her in the shot somehow). I also told her that from the start of rehearsals, I knew I wanted to work with panning from a close up of my face to wide lens shots of my entire body. She had the general basis of my wishes and then I just communicated with her as I danced throughout the solo. We obviously had fun filming together, there was an added level of comfort that she added to the space since she wasn’t a stranger filming me. She understands the dancer and the camera really well and fully delivered on my wishes and then some.
Editing for this piece seemed quicker than the group piece. I’m not sure if that’s because I was the only dancer in the frame that I had to focus on or what - but I smoothed everything out pretty efficiently on my solo. Beginning editing on this was daunting though because I didn’t want people to see something I choreographed on myself in such a professional looking format. It’s scary to be so vulnerable. While I’ve always been open to criticism in class, it’s different when you have a professionally completed film staring back at you ready for critiques. I obviously know that this is a large part of the arts with both choreography and performance, but it is still a daunting thought.
Conclusion
This experience was one in a lifetime when it comes to capstones. Choreographing, costuming, filming in such a short amount of time – having everything on a tighter schedule due to COVID was all a very new experience. It was stressful at times, but it was also one of the most reflective semesters when it came to working on this capstone every day. It was one of the more involved projects that was collaborative with my fellow seniors but also not at the same time due to our virtual COVID format.
I developed a greater attachment and understanding for my pieces after naming them. We’ll Never Have Today Again said a lot about the piece before the audience has even seen any movement. While I didn’t want to give away too much, I was hopeful that this would guide them into better understanding the urgency, the repetition, the variation in the same movements, the attention to details and more. Fika for me felt like a breath of fresh air, like you were taken into a different environment while still being on the stage in an even more intimate setting with the mirror.
This was yet another transformative semester (my final semester) of movement in college and I’m grateful for every moment I had while rehearsals and everything was in person. In my solo rehearsals, I’d film a weekly check in since I felt like I was talking to someone else by actively talking to my camera. I’d update my camera with the date, time, how I was feeling, where I was at choreographically, and anything else going on Capstone wise that I felt was pertinent to mention. The videos are going to stay in my archive for a bit but I’m grateful that I have them for future reference if I’m ever feeling stuck – or just to reflect back on my individual moments during my capstone semester.
Thank you.